Building a framework for living #9 : A strategy to make a day well lived

 Arun Kumar 

It is a privilege to have an abundance of discretionary time and a privilege to be in a position having to consider among varied choices that we have in front of us and decide what we could do with the disposable moments. 

If you are reading these words, you obviously have discretionary time and have made a choice to wander through the waterways of the internet searching for subject matters that interest you. 

For some of us, the notion that we have discretionary time has now been internalized to the extent that it is a privilege is not immediately obvious. 

But consider the following humbling facts. 

There are billions of people on Earth living in the same timeline as us who do not have the luxury of discretionary time. For them, keeping their head above water takes all the time and resources their bodies and minds can muster. 

I know that if you are living in certain parts of India, your day would be spent in storing water for your daily needs. To do that you might have to watch the clock because the tap water only comes for a couple of hours a day, or worse, you may have to visit the community water tap, wait in a line for your turn to fill two buckets of water and then haul them back home. 

You also may have to go to the bazaar every couple of days to buy vegetables because you may not be able to store weeks' supply in a refrigerator. And even if you do have a refrigerator, electricity is unreliable enough that you can ill afford to store consumables for a week only to find out that they got spoiled.  

And then, for the same reasons you may have to prepare meals twice a day because summer temperatures will invite bacteria to have a feast, and the leftover lunch may turn stale by dinnertime. 

I am sure that the same story repeats across a wide swath of people living in different corners of the globe. 

While we are pondering over the luxury of discretionary time, let us not forget places like Ukraine where populations are living in a war zones, or people living in refugee camps, or those who are on the move to get away from the realities of political and financial hardships having dreams of living in better places to give their souls a bit of respite.  

Looking back at the past of humanity, it is also not hard to see that only over 100 years back, most of the population living on the face of the Earth did not have the luxury of discretionary time. The work toll to keep the fire in the belly burning was all too consuming. 

But enough of giving examples to bolster the argument that having time at our disposal is indeed a privilege and a luxury to have, and not everyone is privileged to have that privilege.  

With that privilege comes the existential burden of making the right choices and using the time we have wisely.  

It would be such a waste to squander what is gifted to us. It is a moral imperative to use the disposable time we have for a good purpose. Of course, there is no law out there, or some police state watching to make sure we do that, but deliberately ignoring things that could benefit us is against the evolutionary imperative. 

How unfortunate would it be to afford to buy the 1996 vintage of Taittinger Comtes de Champagne Blanc de Blancs and then just guzzle it down without appreciating its olfactory and gustatory pleasures? The same goes for what we do with our discretionary time.  

Would it not be unfortunate for us to spend the limited hours of disposable time we might have on watching TV or just skimming through bottomless feeds at some of the websites without having a clear purpose in mind? 

On the other hand, what could be a better use of discretionary time than putting it to use in such a way that it makes our life well lived. Or to reach that goal, use it in a way to make our days well lived. 

Making choices that allow us to reach the goal of a life well lived requires us to be intentional in making those choices.  

One could opt for the path of least resistance and watch TV all day. Given its intellectual ease, it could also become a habitual choice, but that is not going to get us to our goal.  

To get there, we must step back, evaluate the choices we have on how to spend our time, weigh them against how they stack up in bringing us closer to what we want our day to be, and then be intentional in making selections.  

It is all too attractive to go with the easier choice for lesser goals. Initially making international choices could be a bit tasking but like all habits, it gets easier with time and rewards are worth the effort. 

So, making a day well lived begins with cultivating the habit of making intentional choices. It all starts from judiciously exercising the privilege of discretionary time we are privileged with. 

Ciao. 

Summary: 

1. It is a privilege to have an abundance of discretionary time. 

2. With that privilege comes the existential burden of making the right choices and using the time wisely.  

3. In making choices that would make our life well lived requires us to be intentional.  

4. So, making a day well lived begins with cultivating the habit of making intentional choices. 

Related:

Building a framework for living #1: Becoming aware of mortality

Building a framework for living #2: The basic premise for its need

Building a framework for living #3: Follow the advice from stoics

Building a framework for living #4: The basic principles

Building a framework for living #5: Working with the fundamental unit that makes a life

Building a framework for living #6: The alchemy of fulfilling days

Building a framework for living #7: The yardstick for fulfilling days

Building a framework for living #8: What makes a day anyway?

World inside a drop

On a winter morning
hangs a drop
at the end
of a honeysuckle leaf, and

holds everything 

on other side
within the embrace
of its teardrop shape.

The world inside
hovers upside down
like few bats slumbering
in darkened caves.

 

A life with letters

What is better,

to live forever,

or,

live for once, but

fill the moments

with love of letters?

 

Just one more click

 Arun Kumar

Hard as I may try, I have not been able to get away from the desire of being praised, to get noticed for my actions, and in the internet generation, repeatedly check on the number of views on posts.

It is an annoying habit born out of a desire that I am not keen on carrying forward.

I was reminded of this malady, yet again, yesterday. In an interaction with a work colleague, I responded to one of their emails, and in preparing the response did a search on our official policy for including disclaimers on the content we post on web pages. The information I provided was tangible and actionable.

After hitting the send button, I could have moved on, but no, ten minutes after I started to get an urge to check if my colleague responded with a note of thanks. When they did not, there was a sense of disappointment.

And there I was, left facing the outcomes of an old vulnerability – the desire to get noticed.

The desire to be noticed comes in many shades of gray, and in hindsight, always leaves the question behind – why do I continue to carry this need to be acknowledged, recognized, praised, or noticed?

Why is this need so deeply ingrained in me?

It is not an inconsequential desire. Since this desire also generates expectations, fulfillment of which is beyond my control, it also becomes a source of grief and disappointment.

Of course, an evolutionary underpinning of this innate need embedded in my psyche can be provided – the need for recognition is tied up with the evolutionary imperative for procreation – but understanding, and being at peace with the understanding something, are not the same things.

Within me, I carry many similar traits that have been ingrained as the consequence of evolutionary imperative because they gave our ancestors an edge in survival and procreation- rush of adrenaline at the sound of rustling in the grass so we can run away and not get bitten by a snake; a liking for sugar so if there is an opportunity consume calories; preferring immediate gratification over sacrificing for longer term gains because survival is the immediate concern.

These traits sometimes feel like a burden and make my shoulders ache under their weight. Long ago, they once provided an evolutionary edge, but are they needed now?

A practical question, however, is that being a conscious being, why I have not been able shake loose of my evolutionary conditioning that continues to influence my behavior? These behaviors have found niches that did not exist when our ancestors were busy hunting and gathering.

I am quite sure that my ancestors in savannah never sent out an email and felt disappointed when a response did not arrive.

I carry on with these burdens despite being told by ancient frameworks of living that root of our suffering is our cravings and one craving being our innate need to be recognized. This need in our times has also transformed into our cravings for constantly seeking the number of views and likes, driving a red corvette, buying things we do not need, etc.

Although, I carry the knowledge of ancient sages – Buddha, Seneca, Epictetus, Mahabharata - and yet, I carry on nurturing a false premise and do the opposite and leave myself vulnerable and open for disappointments.

Perhaps in the depth of our consciousness there is a false hope that these likes will bring a sense of peace, will conquer our mortality, and while at it, will bring us seven hours of uninterrupted sleep too.

Perhaps we all think that we can conquer all demons and if needed, control our primordial urges.

For now, however, all I tell myself is that just one more click to check number of views, and I promise, it will be the last one until 24 hours from now. And then smile at my naivete.

On the positive side, at least I am cognizant that what I am doing is self-defeating behavior. That is a start.

Ciao.

 Related:

Words of wisdom for blogging without worrying about number of likes