Letters from a Retirement Community (1)

A life lived without recognition of its finite nature misses one of its most profound experiences

Arun Kumar

Arun Kumar + AI: Pickleball in a Retirement Community

Summary: Living in a retirement community means face aging and mortality head-on. Through activities like Pickleball and daily routines, residents witness the slow but inevitable decline of physical ability. Yet, the community offers support, companionship, and an understanding that when life’s final steps come, we will not be there to walk alone.

Living in a retirement community brings constant reminders of aging and mortality.

Most residents here are between 65 and 80, a stage of life where the realities of aging become impossible to ignore. Our daily routines here subtly reinforce the fragility of our bodies and the steady passage of time.

One example is Pickleball, a popular pastime among active seniors. Despite its relatively low-impact nature, only about 15% of residents are physically fit enough to play. For the rest, even light recreational sports have become too demanding. Those who do play form a close-knit group, enjoying friendly matches and the camaraderie of shared activity.

But now and then, familiar faces disappear from the court. At first, their absence seems temporary, perhaps a long vacation or a seasonal move north for the summer is the explanation. Over time, however, their absence lingers. Eventually, someone mentions an injury: a fall, a sprained ankle, or a flare-up of tendonitis.

A fall at this age can be life changing event. Recovery is slow, and for many, it marks the end of their playing days. A once-active member of the Pickleball circle suddenly joins the ranks of those watching from the sidelines. Another familiar face disappears from the game, never to return.

These moments unfold with predictable regularity, and if we listen, offer quiet reminders of the future awaiting us all. Each departure signals a turning point. An innocuous accident that sets off a chain of events leading to diminished physical ability and irreversible changes in daily life.

Living here, it is hard to escape the realization that one day, we too will sit on the sidelines, replaced by a new wave of seniors who moved in her and are still capable of movement and play. That turnover, is the nature of life.

Beyond the slow turnover of faces at the Pickleball court, the email inbox delivers even more direct reminders of mortality — announcements of residents who have passed away. The frequency of these messages underscores the unavoidable truth: our time on the Earth is finite.

Unlike earlier phases of life, where thoughts of aging and mortality can be set aside by daily responsibilities, happenings in the retirement community force these realities to the forefront.

Perhaps, in choosing to live here, we all understood that this may be our final stop. Yet, there is comfort in knowing it is also a place where people support one another in life’s final stages. When setbacks occur, others do step in. And when the time comes for each resident to take their last steps, someone will be there to ease the transition.

In the end, it is a good place to build community, to support one another, and to live with an awareness of mortality. A positive aspect of mortality is that, although sobering, if we keep it in our awareness, it keeps us grounded. After all, a life lived without recognition of its finitude misses one of its most profound experiences we are offered.

Ciao, and thanks for reading.