Existential crisis, the beginning #4

With wrinkly skin

and a feeble mind

the day I crossed 

sixty nine

I wondered about

the grand design.

Is dawn, a beginning, and dusk, an end?

Can dawn and dusk be friends; a continuum; two millipedes, entwined like lovers, caught forever in an embrace, and not be

two opposite poles 

of a day,

what is the difference between them

anyway? 

One east and one west? 

One birth and one death?

 

Did not Buddha say 

opposites are 

one and the same,

two sides

of a single frame.

And yet, I suffer

cradling the notion -

one a beginning,

the other, an end.

Impermanence of moving parts

 Arun Kumar

A secret of fulfilling life is recognizing, and being at peace with the impermanence of its moving parts

Last month, we spent a week in Lisbon. I was there for a work trip, and J., on a vacation. And now, only a month after we returned, I have an urge to go back. It feels like that when we left, and dropped our keys in the return box at the hotel, something was left unfinished.

Perhaps we did not get a chance to have an unhurried evening sitting on a bench on the boardwalk along Parque Das Nações and watch the dusk descend gradually and see lights in the city behind come aglow, one by one first, and then in droves. 

It feels like that before leaving, we did not get a chance to feel the spaciousness of time and say a proper goodbye. 

Leaving Lisbon was not the same as leaving Geneva back in August where on the last evening we sat on a bench under a tree along the lake and had an unhurried evening. For a few moments, we felt the indefinable grace and connectedness that life sometimes brings. 

Leaving Geneva felt like a natural part of being there, and for that matter, of living.

Not so for Lisbon. Leaving Lisbon was a blur; a rush through the airport to the boarding  gate. 

And now, I feel the urge to go back, and this time before returning, slowly close the gates, hear the latch click, and whisper that it was wonderful to be here and to be with you. The next time, when returning, I will have the sublime feeling that I may not return again, but it is okay. 

A secret of fulfilling life, after all, is recognizing, and being at peace with the impermanence of its moving parts - hairs imperceptibly turning gray; joints beginning to ache; skin starting to fray; or, visiting Lisbon for one final time.

Impermanence of moving parts

A lesson when summer  begins to slowly turn into autumn,

like hairs imperceptibly

turning gray,

is that,

a fulfilling life, after all,

is learning, 

and to be at peace with

the impermanence

of its moving parts.