The Perhaps of Life

 

…only the philosophical question is perennial, not the answers — Paul Tillich

Arun Kumar

Arun Kumar + AI

There is a part of living that sometimes does not want to run as a well-oiled machine. With the turning of the wheels, if I pay attention, I can hear a faint squeaking.

Sometimes, when I stop along the path I am walking and listen carefully, I can feel an undercurrent that is constantly trying to erode my peace of mind. It is like wanting to sleep and letting go for a while, but there is an annoying mosquito that keeps buzzing around and will not allow sleep to descend.

Finding peace and the feeling of being together (and living with a sense of ease), alongside the uncertainty of whether or not I will be alive tomorrow, are two clashing thoughts. Their battles often leave me feeling exhausted. The thought that everything I do might one day be for nothing, yet there is still the need to keep on going and doing things the best I can, saps the will and energy.

The futility of moving forward but with the knowledge that each step is towards a precipice, and further, at any step, bottom could fall out, makes one want to let limbs go lethargic. In those moments, a sense of fatigue descends upon the spirit, making it hard to keep on moving.

Something inside wants to whisper, “Please leave me here and please keep going. For now, I am too tired to take another step.”

So, what to do? Is there a way out of the existential dilemma of needing to live and yet being aware of mortality? Is there a way to blunt the sharpness of the realization that mortality could just flatten a three-dimensional life into a meaningless nothing?

Once in a while, what antidote can one take to temporarily ward off these feelings and emotions that the internalization of mortality is susceptible to bringing? A glass of wine? A belief in something divine?

Perhaps, for some of us, there are no permanent resolutions, and the best we can do is learn to manage the conflict. We can hope to find ways to maintain a truce between living and dying, while acknowledging that occasionally, a full-blown conflict between the two may erupt.

Perhaps, we must always live with the realization that occasionally, the rug may be pulled out from under our feet, and we may fall. It could also be that the tension between living and dying is what defines life, making it interesting and vibrant.

The tension makes living alive.

Once the fall happens, I would question the logic and the meaning of existence once again. After lying flat on my face for a while, I will get up (as I have always done) and either build a new edifice or repair the one I already have (and possibly, make some tweaks to add resiliency).

Perhaps part of managing is accepting that for some of us, this is as good as it gets, and having this option in hand is a lot better than not having any alternatives and merely feeling lost.

Another possibility towards gaining a sense of lasting peace is to experience universal connectedness, which brings about the feeling of existence beyond one’s present form. This connectedness removes mortality from the equation. Left alone, life has no adversary to contend with. There have been moments of such connectedness, however, they are fleeting.

Perhaps one day, the essence of such ephemeral moments will be captured and preserved in a glass vial, to be worn around the neck and become my companion for life.

Perhaps, one day, I will wear a smile that mirrors the serene joy seen on the lips of enlightened beings.

Ciao.

The Perhaps of Life

Is there a way out of the existential dilemma of needing to live and yet being aware of mortality?

Perhaps there is an antidote can one take to ward off the conflict that the internalization of mortality is susceptible to bring? A glass of red wine? A belief in something, divine?

Perhaps, for some of us, there are no permanent resolutions, and the best we can do is learn to manage the conflict between two illusions.

Perhaps, we must always live with the realization that occasionally, the rug may be pulled out from under my feet.

Perhaps part of managing is accepting that for some of us, this is as good as it gets, and having this option is a blessing.

Perhaps another possibility is to experience a sense of universal connectedness, which brings about the feeling of existing beyond one’s current form, the ‘self’.

Perhaps one day, the essence of such ephemeral moments will be captured and preserved in a glass vial, to be worn, and the walls of mortality would be torn.

Perhaps, one day, I will wear a smile that mirrors the serene joy seen on the lips of enlightened beings.

Perhaps… 

All radio buttons were checked

The day had gone well.

All radio buttons
on the to-do manifest
were marked checked
(and I thought
the spirit was ready to
blast off) -

muscle strengthening exercise - Check,
10K steps - Check,
the breathing regimen - Check,
eating well - Check,
a bit of journaling - Check
reading few pages of a book  - Check
and a short walk
in the neighborhood woods - Check.

By all measures
it should have been a
poster worthy day
something to be lived
over and over,
and over again.

And yet,
it did not feel so.
There was something crucial
that had gone missing.

Making someone smile?
Sharing someone’s fears?
Helping a person cross the road? 
Calling a friend, and  just saying
Hello dear?

Life had gone well.

All  radio buttons… 

The ubiquitous Bell Curve and its Consequences

 

Insurance payouts rely on actuarial tables using the bell curve to predict claims and set premiums.

Arun Kumar

AI Generated Image

The Bell Curve: Its prevalence in natural and social phenomena often leads to its perception as a fundamental law. At its core, the bell curve is a statistical (as opposed to a physical) concept where the distribution of a characteristic in a population is symmetrically arranged around a central value. As the characteristic’s value deviates from this central value, fewer individuals in the population are likely to exhibit it. This distribution, when plotted with the characteristic value on one axis and the number of individuals on the other, takes on the shape of a bell.

Consider the scenario where we measure the heights (characteristics) of all adults (population) in a town. Most adults will have heights around the average (say, 5.5 feet) (central value), forming the peak of the distribution of height vs. number of people with that height. As the heights deviate from this average, the number of people with those heights decreases, creating a bell-like shape. Thus, fewer people are found at the extremes of very short or very tall. Similar is true for cognitive traits like the IQ.

At its core, the ubiquitous bell curve informs that no physical or cognitive trait within a population is uniformly distributed; variation is the rule, not the exception. These variations—these intrinsic inequalities—are not merely statistical curiosities but carry profound consequences. They often give rise to secondary inequalities, compounding overtime. In the realm of wealth distribution, for instance, even slight initial differences in financial resources can snowball into vast disparities. This dynamic is starkly illustrated by the fact that the wealthiest 1% now hold nearly twice the wealth of the rest of the world combined. In this sense, the bell curve is not just a mathematical abstraction, it is a architect of inequality.

To get a feel how the bell curve can get skewed, let us unpack the example of individual wealth. Imagine a population where initially everyone possesses the same amount of wealth. However, individual characteristics in the group, because of following a bell curve, are diverse, and differences influence how individuals manage their initial wealth. Some individuals, being frugal, might save their wealth for future needs. Others, with a forward-thinking mindset, might invest their share. Yet others, driven by hedonism, might squander their wealth on immediate pleasures. Over time, these differing characteristics lead to small disparities in wealth, which eventually grow to become significant wealth inequalities over time.

The ubiquitousness of the bell curve signifying differences in human characteristics underscores the basic reason that disparities plague our society and are in constant need of being managed.

Given the ubiquity of the bell curve, it’s impossible to find societies where all individuals share identical characteristics. This is a fundamental trait of all groups, whether they’re human or composed of other animal species. A notable distinction, however, is that in animals, physical variations are more consequential, whereas in humans, because of technological advances, psychological differences tend to have broader implications.

Indeed, the development of social norms and policies like taxation are attempts to manage the implications of the bell curve with a group of people. These measures aim to mitigate the extremes and reduce disparities, particularly in wealth distribution.

Political ideologies often differ in their approach to how to manage the consequences of the bell curve. Democrats, for instance, generally advocate for policies that aim to flatten the bell curve, promoting a sense of equality. Republicans, on the other hand, often favor a laissez-faire approach, allowing natural forces to shape the distribution. If this results in a broadening of secondary inequalities, they view it as a natural outcome.

Indeed, the bell curve is a prevalent concept that significantly influences various aspects of our lives and society. The development and enforcement of societal norms are continuous efforts to counteract its implications, as evidenced by historical fluctuations between periods of inequality and attempts at equalization. It could be argued that history is a narrative of societies wrestling with the consequences of this omnipresent statistical phenomenon. However, it is important to remember that while the bell curve can offer insights, it cannot dictate our fate. It is us who possess the agency to mold our societies and adhere to norms that foster fairness and equality.

By doing so, we can counteract the consequences of the bell curve.

Ciao.