Falling in and out of a trance: A tale of (almost) buying a home

 

It is hard to imagine a more stupid or more dangerous way of making decisions than by putting those decisions in the hands of people who pay no price for being wrong — Thomas Sowell

Arun Kumar

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Yesterday, I experienced a transition from a trance-like state to a moment of sudden awakening and realization. It felt as if I was on auto-pilot, guided by a force beyond my conscious control, similar to being in a hypnotic or religious trance. Then, something snapped me out of it.

In this trance-like state, I behaved out of character, performing actions that were not typical of me. This state could be likened to a form of dissociation, where I felt detached from my actions. It was as if I was observing my actions from an outsider’s perspective, aware that the actor was me, but his actions were beyond my control.

Then, the dream shattered, and there was a sudden shift. I “woke up” and was abruptly thrust back into reality, confronting the world with a sense of surprise and confusion. This return was a jarring reconnection with reality, a stark contrast to the trance-like state I had been in.

The feeling that follows a sudden transition from a state of two disconnected selves to a state where they coalesce is strange. The process brings a feeling of disorientation like waking up in an unfamiliar place, unsure of where you are.

This state of trance was not induced by intense focus or deep meditation. It occurred during a scouting trip to the low country of South Carolina in search of potential retirement locations.

The trip involved visiting retirement communities to get a feel of what they are like and see what home models they had to offer. However, during our explorations, the mindset subtly shifted from merely looking around to considering it perfectly acceptable to spend $500K on a second home and then deal with the logistics of managing two homesteads separated by five hundred miles.

Two factors precipitated this transition.

When visiting a retirement community where new homes are still being built, the first stop is the model homes. These homes are showcased to attract you like a bee to a fragrant flower. The model homes appear far superior to the homes we ordinary mortals live in. The idea of living in them feels like a quantum leap in the standard of living, akin to moving to an imaginary life in heaven. Your eyes glaze over, and your mind is transported into a trance where reason has no place.

The other factor relates to the real estate broker accompanying you, who earns money only when a home is bought or sold. Given this, it is in their best interest to make you buy a home with the least amount of their time invested. While you are already slipping into a trance-like state, they are adept at applying subtle psychological tactics to nudge you further over the precipice of rationality. They do this by hinting that if you do not buy the home in the next few days, the price will skyrocket.

Another trick they employ is to make you feel that if you miss a particular house that you demonstrated a little admiration for will not come along. They play on your fear of missing out (FOMO).

The agent may highlight the uniqueness of a home, its features, location, or price to create a sense of scarcity. They might suggest that such opportunities are rare and if missed, similar options may be hard to come by anytime soon. Their strategy is designed to create a sense of urgency among the entranced, pushing them to decide quickly. The sense of urgency, combined with the trance-like state you are already in, makes you susceptible to signing a contract before what was supposed to be just a scouting trip is over, unless…

…unless something snaps you out of the trance and you blink with a sudden realization of the uncharacteristic folly you were about to commit. All I needed was to get out of the setting, disassociate with the real estate broker, who is part hypnotist, part manipulator, and have a cup of coffee at Starbucks sitting on their patio and feel the breeze in my face. In that simple act the trance broke and in a moment of clarity, I realized the importance of stepping back to remind myself why I was here and not getting into the logistical challenge of buying a second home.

Without carrying any regrets, tomorrow I will be heading back home. The place has a potential to settle down after retirement, however, buying a home can wait for another day.

Ciao.

If you get caught in the web of rhymes

 

Once the mind gets entrapped
in the Siren’s song of rhymes
makes writing a poem, a veritable crime
when pen wants words
to go down
they simply insist
it is time for them
to go for a climb.

What to do
when this misfortune befalls,
stop writing,
let the hand stall?

Here is a suggested remedy
that one might try
take a break, go for a walk
and look at the blue
shimmering sky.

Do anything
but pull on your hair,
or use cold shower
and hope to break away
from Siren’s lair.

For it is impossible to fit
a square peg
into a round hole
the best one can do
is to go out
and take a slow stroll.

Bell Curve makes utopia a dream

 You gotta beware of the utopian train of thought, mate. That’s usually the first step towards fascism — Daniel Clausen

Arun Kumar

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Somewhere in the dark recesses of our hearts, we dream about living in a land of utopia. It is a land where the likes of dysfunctional and shortsighted politicians we have do not exist. It is a land of harmony where wars and conflicts are not the norm. It is a land where the lives of Alexei Navalny are not lost, and reasons remain shrouded behind the fog of war. It is a land of harmony, equality, tolerance, sustainability, and where people, immersed in contemplative thought, walk around wearing togas.

Can a land of unforced stable utopia exist?

The notion of unforced utopia needs unpacking. We all have seen dystopian movies where a utopia seems to exist — citizens have basic necessities, enjoy life, and do wear togas and may even walk around slowly lost in contemplative thoughts. But as the story unfolds, we learn that the air they breathe is infused with some brain altering chemical that keeps their mind content. Or when citizens wake up in the morning they take a blue pill that keeps them in a state of euphoria all day.

Later we find out that citizens are divided into have and have nots and the haves, for some ulterior motives that benefit their own kind, are controlling the have nots with exogenous means.

An unforced utopia, however, will exist on its own volition and no external manipulations will be required to keep it functioning. Is it a place where citizens self-govern, do not administer exogenous means, and yet, are able to have a long-lasting, stable utopia?

What is it that makes it seem like that such utopia would be an impossible?

That invisible culprit is the Bell Curve.

Bell curve is a phenomenological description of the consequences of forces that are responsible for differences that occur in nature, including humans. Examples of differences include shades of hair color, variations in height, variations in IQ.

Take the example of the shades of hair color. As a single fertilized cell starts to divide and multiply, along the developmental path to becoming a healthy baby, progressive generations of cells start to take on specialized roles, including some that will become hair follicles. What color the hairs would have depends on the two pigments Eumelanin (responsible for brown to black hair shades) and Pheomelanin (responsible for red hair shades) that hair follicles will produce.

Along this development pathway, random fluctuations that are part of gene expression subsequently result in physiological and psychological differences determine the characteristics of hair colors.

The type and amount of two pigments in the hair follicles generate, and how they are distributed, create a wide variety of hair colors among individuals and is determined by a switch in a particular protein synthesized by a gene within the follicle cells. The underlying biological processes may be complicated and hard to comprehend, but the external characteristics they determine — the hair color — follows a bell curve.

Differences in hair color is one example and may be benign in the context of having further downstream consequences, but inevitable differences exist in characteristics like IQ, or physical strength, which have larger ramifications. Can an unforced stable utopian society exist that pays due respect to such differences, and yet, manage not to fall apart?

A potential problem with differences in characteristics is that their direct or indirect consequences start to cascade into other differences, and left on their own, can result either in amplification or growing range of inequalities in social, physical, intellectual, financial realms. Individuals higher in IQ may be able to corner larger levels of resources (financial or otherwise). With those resources, hire an army of people to protect their interests. Looking around we know how the story goes.

To curb the runaway influence of positive feedback that can lead to growing inequalities, and to bring some level of equitability for the greater good, requires external management.

A utopian society that wishes to be tolerant of differences, cannot exist without drawing some boundaries to manage differences in the population and keep them within acceptable levels to avoid dissent and discontent. Figuring out where to draw the line marking the limits of tolerance is a wicked problem and cannot be addressed to everyone’s satisfaction.

Where to draw lines? Should someone be allowed to offer opinions even if they are hurtful to a few others? If someone wants the right to carry arms, is that okay? What about the tax rate and trying to bring some measure of equality between have and have nots? If the answer to any of these questions is yes, the resulting utopia is not a utopia of its own volition. It is not organic.

An unforced utopia would require a collection of people with the same characteristics, but the way nature works, and how ubiquitous the bell curve is, that is an impossibility.

The Bell Curve is the reason that unforced stable utopia will forever remain an imaginary place.

Ciao.

What would it feel like?

What would it feel like
to let go of it all
the rat race, constant highs
and crashing falls
the moments of inspiration
and crushing stalls,
and just float in the river
from the mountain top
to the turquoise sea
and along the way
navigate around the rocks
and not disturb
their stoic peace?

What would it feel like
to live a life
of utopian grace
of silent beauty
and a connectedness with
the infinite time
and infinite space?

What would it feel like
to have held you forever

in my embrace?