Is it just me, or it happens to you too?

 

The week that's passed is often marked by the happenings of Saturday or Friday,
while the escapades of Monday or Sunday before them, like old photos, begin to fade away.

Old photos, that once promised to anchor us to the past, to transport us to days that once were a blast,
become just glossy papers, cold to touch, promising much, but are no saviors, as such.

Is it just me, or it happens to you too?

The memories, like old photographs, fade away, leaving us with something much less than what we thought was a forever glue,
between me and between you.

Reflections on a Journey: The 100th Post

 

Fall seven times and stand up eight — Japanese Proverb

Arun Kumar

AI Generated Image

If you happen to be reading this post then as the title says, this post is a milestone for me. It is my one hundredth post since I ventured on a journey that started on 5 Aug 2021. Almost three years and now a hundred articles later, the achievement that I am most proud of is that through thick and thin I managed to stay with the endeavor and made it here.

It all started with getting older and the prospect of retirement in the near future, a thought that almost derailed me with the fear of suddenly being time affluent and not knowing what to do with it. Leaving work, and whatever psychological crutches it provided, was a terrifying prospect. It is not that there was much of an attachment left for work, its politics, or for what I was doing there, it was more the thought of not knowing what I would be doing if I were to leave.

The thought of not knowing what awaits if I were to leave this room, step through the door and enter the next one, was terrifying.

And then there was the growing realization of my mortality. The combination of the two was not playing out well.

Deep within, I happen to be a growth-oriented person and relish the rush of coming up with new ideas, connecting disparate and seemingly isolated facts and bits of knowledge. These traits have served me well in my research career, and in my own little way, I have been successful in research pursuits, its outcomes, and I am proud of it.

The same growth mindset, however, did not help with the prospect of sudden time affluence at hand after retirement and not knowing what to do with it. Without conscious recognition, somewhere along the way the work became all consuming, became identity and there was not much to do outside of it. The prospect of becoming a comfort-minded retiree whose portfolio of engagements includes gardening, watching TV etc. was not an inviting image of my future self.

I am not alone in being terrified at the prospect of retirement. Medical advances have increased the life span to the extent that life after retirement could be a 30+ year time span, as long as the working life itself. This has created a niche for a new class of entrepreneurs of retirement coaches, retirement podcasts, and books, all trying to guide us what to do with the remining years we will have on the Earth.

The bottom line is that depending on what the individual mindset may be, the prospect of retirement could be a traumatic experience.

It is going through the thought of transition of retirement that the idea of writing as a hobby emerged. The idea was writing for the sake of writing with no strings attached, for example, not worrying about whether anyone is going to read or not. An endeavor for its own sake without any expectations on the return. That is also when I started developing the portfolio of engagements that would feel fulfilling after retirement and writing felt like a good engagement to have in that portfolio.

And my first post was about wondering aloud who would be interested in reading what I write. There has already been so much written, and in that backdrop, would I have anything new to say? But then, it also occurred that there are always new connections to be made, and besides, now there are billions of users of internet, and it may just happen that an article may happen flash by someone’s field of vision, get read, and might touch upon a\someone's personal curiosity or experience.

In the universe of internet, posted articles (at least by newbies) are like shooting stars in the night sky. If you just happen to be looking up, you might notice one shooting across your screen.

An issue with starting down this path was what to do with the desire to get noticed, getting likes, and getting recognition. It is a desire which is double edged sword. It could be a wonderful motivator (and a resonator) but could also bring a crushing sense of defeat. Not being chained by the desire to be recognized could be a tremendous sense of freedom.

There is plenty of advice from scriptures and philosophers on how to minimize the role of seeking external recognition in our life and its endeavors and not become its prey. From the Bhagvat Gita where Kirshna tells Arjuna “You have a right to perform your prescribed duties, but you are not entitled to the fruits of your actions. Never consider yourself to be the cause of the results of your activities, nor be attached to inaction” to the advice from the stoics that pay attention to what one controls and do not peg your happiness on the things you cannot control, like seeking recognition and number of views and likes. What is in your control is to post the article and rest is out of your hand, and thus, do not sweat over it.

Excellent words of wisdom but hard to follow.

Not too keen on “Stats” page is liberating but being human, it is hard to pull entirely away from it and I do take a peek at the stats once in a while. Desire to get recognized is an evolutionary trait designed to increase our chances of survival and reproduction. It is buried deeply in my psyche and is not easy to let go.

Since beginning on 1 Aug 2021, I have come a long way. It was slow going in the beginning (with posts separated by a month or more). Now I have reached a place where I am writing regularly and generally have a post ready to appear online on Saturday morning.

Along the journey I have written and posted article on mortality (and as one gets older, my growing recognition of it), trials and tribulations of retirement, future of humanity, developing a framework of living, articles on the lines of personal journaling, philosophical musings, and connecting various bits of information.

Even though I have come far, there is still a thought that nags me. It is the fear of running out of ideas. It is the fear of endings and not knowing what to do next. I keep getting struck by finistophobia. If I had a list (and ideas) of potential articles to write that is longer than the span of my cognitively lucid days on the Earth, I would be a content person. And to get there, I am constantly trying to update the list of potential articles to write and constantly curating ideas.

Now as get I closer and closer to impending retirement and have been able to put together a portfolio of engagements that align with my values, I am at ease with the thought of time affluence. In fact, I might be getting close to consciously making the decision to step through the door and embracing it.

And here I am with my 100th post and hope to have the 200th post not too far in the future. Until then, be well, do good work, and stay in touch.

Ciao.

Epics (of death) and Chapbooks (of birth)

 

There is more to read
in the epics of leaving
than in the
chapbooks of arriving.

On arrival
we are but strangers -
us and them,
me and you
- who just happened to share
same time and space.

There are no
tales to tell,
yarns to be spin,
secrets to murmur.

But when,
it is time to depart
we have jokes to share
tallies to make
of loves, of laughters,
of angers, of sorrows,
of fragments of hearts
there will be,
come tomorrow.

There is more to hear
in the epics of death
than in the
chapbooks of birth.

Managing Consequence of the Bell Curve

 

As long as inequality and other social problems plague us, populists will try to exploit them — Kofi Annan

Arun Kumar

AI Generated Image

Bell curves are ubiquitous, characterizing the myriad phenomena in the universe. Their presence is more pervasive than even the deities we revere. Given their universality, it could be argued that bell curves warrant a place of honor in our places of worship.

Consider any collection of entities — people, trees, or even the seemingly mundane egg consumed at breakfast. Quantify any of their attributes — height, lifespan, weight, or yolk color. In the distribution of these quantified characteristics, a bell curve emerges. The population’s dominant tendency is to cluster around the average, with instances decreasing as we move away from this central value.

While the bell curve is a phenomenological representation of the outcomes of forces causing variations in a population, its existence can be leveraged to interpret our world. This concept can be further elucidated with some examples.

Evolution signifies the transformation in the traits of living organisms over time, propelled by the mechanism of natural selection. This mechanism necessitates variations within a population, which typically follow a bell curve distribution. By interacting with these differences and selectively favoring certain traits within the constraints of the surrounding environment, gradual changes in species and the process of evolution are facilitated.

Within a societal context, if one views variations in Intelligence Quotient (IQ), represented by a bell curve, as inherent outcomes of the process from a single cell developing into a fully grown human, these differences result in a stratified society that necessitates management.

Throughout our life’s journey, we soon realize that future outcomes are not predetermined but often adhere to a bell curve. To predict potential futures, methodologies have been devised to generate multiple possible scenarios. Financial planners utilize the Monte Carlo method, testing the robustness of our current financial status under various assumptions of future market returns. Weather models, through a process known as ensemble forecasting, are executed multiple times to provide us with probabilities of what may happen tomorrow, such as a 30% chance of rain.

In all these instances, it’s not necessary to understand the underlying causes of the bell curve that depicts the non-uniformity in a population. However, the existence of this pattern can be utilized to interpret the world’s behavior and guide us in navigating its complexities.

In anticipation of the bell curve’s existence, we are counseled to remain optimistic yet prepare for the worst, maintain a positive outlook while exercising caution, and face the future fearlessly, all the while staying aware of potential risks.

In the personal sphere, the existence of the bell curve not only adds intrigue to life (after all, who desires monotony day after day), but it can also lead to unexpected setbacks, disrupting our meticulously planned future. We’ve all heard tales of individuals leading healthy lifestyles — exercising regularly, maintaining a balanced diet, minimizing various life stressors — only to be struck by a severe illness. Conversely, there are instances where one of the longest-living individuals was a smoker. Go figure.

Interestingly, the existence of the bell curve also leaves its mark on the divergent perspectives that Democrats and Republicans hold regarding the management of differences.

In a society riddled with various inequalities — financial, intellectual, physical — that can be represented by the bell curve, Democrats advocate for government policies and regulations in areas such as the economy, education, and healthcare, all with the aim of reducing these disparities. They are more inclined to believe that individuals facing adversity are often victims of circumstances beyond their control. Efforts are made to establish social safety nets to ensure that people maintain at least a minimum standard of living and are not left behind. While it’s acknowledged that some may exploit these policies, the overall positive impact on public welfare resulting from these measures is believed to outweigh the occasional misuse.

Conversely, Republicans often attribute individuals’ hardships to their own actions. For instance, they might argue that those in need of assistance are in their predicament due to a lack of motivation or ambition. They hold the belief that with enough determination, one can overcome their current circumstances. They argue that providing aid to the less fortunate may inadvertently discourage them from improving their situation. Republicans tend to advocate for policies that limit government intervention in the economy, education, and universal healthcare, and often favor business-friendly policies such as tax reductions. They justify their policies with the argument that these measures would actually help reduce inequality. Perhaps their perspective is that in the long run, a reliance on Social Darwinism will lead to the overall improvement of society, even if it means sacrificing a few individuals along the way.

The crux of the matter is that the inherent variations represented by the bell curve, and the strategies for managing them, fundamentally underpin the ideological differences between Democrats and Republicans.

An additional consideration is that without external intervention, minor variations represented by the bell curve tend to amplify. The convergence towards the mean (and the pursuit of equality) necessitates external management. Socialism embodies the effort to counteract the bell curve’s tendency to widen, while capitalism, through its laissez-faire approach, accelerates its expansion.

Revisiting the ubiquity of the Bell Curve, our very existence is indebted to its presence, as nature inherently resists uniformity. Following the Big Bang, the formation of galaxies and the stars within them can be attributed to minor density fluctuations. Assisted by gravity, these fluctuations led to an escalating concentration of mass at certain locations, which ultimately gave rise to galaxies and stars.

If differences cannot be eradicated, is the bell curve the fundamental obstacle in dreams of utopia? Stay tuned.

Ciao.