One day
a hair turned gray
and I said
there no need to worry
or go hurry hurry
there is plenty of life
with a wonderful wife
and if you cannot eat all that candy
it is just dandy
there will always be
another day handy,
but,
little did I know
that there will come a point
marked along
the line of time
when there be aches
in most of my joints
and all I will get to eat
is a mouthful of pills, and
a bowl of greens
sprinkled with
some olive oil,
and some thyme.
In an empty bowl
a few words fall -
a peach, a grape
a banana, and an apPLe
that looks a bit
bent out of shape.
Is it the poem
that I was hoping to write
or has turned into a
fruit brawl?
We live
through different stages in our life and along the way goals, purpose,
perspective keep evolving.
We start
from the exuberance of youth having a basket filled with infinite
opportunities, and a life that stretches forever ahead of us. In our youth,
there is no shortage of engagements, each one having a purpose, that carves up
the outlay of our time.
A large
block of our time goes into learning skills that will support our wellbeing in
future. We go to college, engage in the study of a subject so as to earn our
living. Another part of our time also gets spent actively seeking out a life
partner. Procreation, after all, is the secret agenda of genes that are the
hidden Puppeteers in Control.
In those
youthful days, we are also in the company of fellow comrades and share similar
goals. We have a sense of belonging; we have a tribe.
The
journey through our days in youth is purposeful and the steps we take each day,
each month, each year bring us closer to what we set out to achieve.
The end
of youth is marked by the graduation day, and we start the career building
phase of our life.
The start
of a career is an exciting period. Career building is also a time of hard work.
We seek stability and want to rise among our peers leading to a career with
more responsibilities, better job security, and needless to say, a better
income. Initial stages of a career may not be easy, but we are filled with the
drive to reach goals and feel like having a definite purpose.
During
the earlier and middle part of the career building phase, we will also find a
life partner, buy a home, have a family, all requiring substantial investment
of our time. Our careers become our identity, we work hard, we advance, we
raise a family. Moments of our days are always filled with some activity.
Life
stays busy, there is little time for reflection, and in the wake of our
business, years pass by.
Slowly we
approach the middle or later stage of our career. Working tirelessly, we made a
niche for ourselves. We have a stable position and are respected by our peers.
All feels well and there is no tear in the fabric of space and time.
Then one
day there is a surprise – someone organized a 60th birthday celebration for us.
A party that has the unintentional consequence of waking us up from our
slumber.
A
realization dawns that we are getting old. Along with that a few other thoughts
come marching in. An idea begins to gel that our time on earth is limited. We
also realize that someday we need to phase out our working life, and…
…one day
we will be RETIRING.
In the
growing realization of getting old and needing to retire, hints from incoming
signals also add to. We find that it is becoming harder to stay in the
mainstream, keep up with new technologies and innovations. We know Fortran but
now Java is the rage.
We also
feel the push of the younger generation elbowing in, there are also subtle
hints from the party goers. Their looks are saying that it is their time to
have more responsibilities, have more opportunities to travel, and whatever
else they think are the privileges of being higher on the totem pole.
With the
present act coming to an end, a host of questions creep into our consciousness
- What will be my identity during retirement? What will hold meaning and
purpose? What will fill in for my (few) work friends? What will we do with the
time affluence?
That is
then the trauma of transitioning into retirement hits us.
All
transitions are hard but the transition into retirement is a notch above the
rest. It is a perfect storm – we will be leaving so much behind of what work
meant; we are old and suddenly there is an awareness of aches and pain that
were there but were fell in the category of meh; we are mortal beings; whatever
we do next will be the last act; and the icing on the cake is that we have no
clue what we are going to do next.
It has
been a couple of hours into your surprise 60th birthday party. People are
starting to leave for their cubicles and the crowd is thinning out. People who
volunteered for the cleanup are starting to collect the trash.
Finally,
when the 60th birthday celebration comes to an end, you slowly walk out of the
room feeling as if you have no clothes on.
Ciao.
So many edifices
have been built
some simple
barely a small room
with a single latticed window
looking outside
at life's puzzle
others,
tall, intricate, all imposing
trying to reach the heavens,
that us on the street
rushing to the subway
chasing destinations everyday
can’t hope to ever climb.
They all tell us how to live
an equanimous life
and yet, we suffer
to put it all together
and take a slow walk
on the dew laden grass
that I can see
looking outside
the stained glass window.