Building a framework for living #10: Choosing right engagements to make a day well lived

 Arun Kumar 

Choices. 

They confront us all throughout the waking part of the day. What to have for breakfast? Lunch - have a healthy salad or go for a sandwich with french fries and a slice or two of cheesecake? 5 pm brings another conundrum - which bottle of wine to open? A white or a red? A Cabernet or go for a Pinot Noir? 

I have also been told that when we face choices and decide on an option, the trajectory of the universe bifurcates. In one, it is me with the choice I made, while in the other it is my doppelganger who now lives in an alternate reality that I did not pick. Of course, that other me is mirroring the same logic - I am left carrying the choice the other did not make. 

It is hard to imagine what the reality of infinite multiverses would be like, and how could it all be managed? The number itself is not a problem. Another universe added to an already infinity ends up being infinite again. Mathematics is ok with that. 

Logistically, however, infinite universes would be such a mess for God or whichever management company is responsible for keeping the odds and end in place. I cannot even keep track of my ten lines of to-do lists and merely the thought of juggling two pages of them is enough to bring a migraine.  

The complexity of managing an infinite number of multiverses is the reason our own world is in such a mess. There is just not enough time to pay attention to fix what all can go wrong. One can only hope that me in other universes is living in a kinder, gentler world. 

Other than constantly bifurcating the trajectory of the universe, choices have other consequences too. Take a more down-to-earth example of evolution. 

There is an evolutionary imperative that requires that we make the right choices that increase our chance of survival and improve the chances to pass on our genes to the next generation. The lineage that is wise enough to consistently make correct choices as measured against the yardstick of evolutionary imperative ends up multiplying and thriving. Lineages that make bad choices are no longer around to tell their story. 

Evolutionary imperative not only guides the progression of physical traits in time but also influences psychological and behavioral traits. In the case of humans making the right choices, it is the arena of selecting among behavioral traits that might be more important than the physical ones. 

Over time, the process of natural selection has also resulted in the evolution of our cognitive abilities that feedback to help us in making effective choices more efficiently. Some examples of those cognitive abilities include development of language, problem-solving skills, social interaction etc. 

The development of language and being able to communicate our experiences to others in our circle of influence, and to following generations, has been an enormous advantage in the context of natural selection and evolution. An ability to tell my compatriot to be careful in eating that inviting red berry because when I tried the last time, it made me sick, helps someone not go through the process of learning everything by experience.  

The ability to transfer the accumulation of knowledge to the next generation gives them the ability to stand on the scaffolding of our shoulders and quickly add new floors to it. 

The exponential growth of knowledge and developments in engineering that humanity is going through would not have been possible without the development of cognitive ability of language and the edge it has offered in the context of evolutionary imperative and natural selection. 

Well, it is not hard to conceive that choices are important and can have far reaching consequences.  

In personal life, choices we make in deciding what to do during our day end up in determining if our day was well lived or ended up being a waste of time that is gifted to us. But what to base those choices on?  

Consciously or subconsciously, we need some criteria to make a choice that brings us closer to the outcome we desire. You do not want to start going west when the destination is in the east. If we keep going then eventually one day we will get there, but then years would also have gone by. 

If it were evolution, it has a simple, but effective, criteria to tell us if the choice we made was good or bad. For example, choices that improve our chances to procreate, choices that increase our access to resources to survive, choices that avoid risky and dangerous behaviors, are given a thumbs up by natural selection, and over time become natural traits in future generations. 

It is a bit harder in the case of choices we make so as to end up with a life well lived. There is no rewinding and selecting alternatives we did not go for and try again.  Then there is also the question of how to decide which ones are the better options for us. 

A criterion for making choices that could make my day feel like it was well lived is to align them with my values. We can use our values as the scale by which to weigh our choices. By doing so, we can generate a portfolio of engagements to pursue. If at the end of the day when we look back and find that it was a day well lived, and given a choice, we would not mind living it again, we would know that choices we made were the right ones for me.

The process implies that we must be intentional in our choices and not let the habits or the tendency to flow down the path of least resistance take hold of the waking hours of our day. The outcomes may feel good momentarily but at the end of the day, or by the end of our life, we would not be too happy with the way we spent our time. And by then, it would be too late to adjust for a better ending. 

I wonder how other versions of me are faring in the alternate universes? Are their lives also filled with moments of introspection? Did they also go through a period of existential crises or did they live a charmed life? 

Or then, they are thinking the same about me. But there is no way to tell. We do not talk with each other.

Ciao  

 Summary 

1. Throughout the day we face choices about what to do with the moments given to us.

2. There is an evolutionary imperative that requires that we make the right choices to propagate our genes.

3. Choices we make in deciding what to do during our day end up in determining if our day was well lived or not.

4. A criterion for making choices that make my day feel like it was well lived is to align them with our  values.

Related:

Building a framework for living #1: Becoming aware of mortality

Building a framework for living #2: The basic premise for its need

Building a framework for living #3: Follow the advice from stoics

Building a framework for living #4: The basic principles

Building a framework for living #5: Working with the fundamental unit that makes a life

Building a framework for living #6: The alchemy of fulfilling days

Building a framework for living #7: The yardstick for fulfilling days

Building a framework for living #8: What makes a day anyway?

Building a framework for living #9: A strategy to make a day well lived

The art of molting

Leaving a skin behind
but lacking one
to slide into

has left me

somewhat jaded,

vulnerable, and 

feeling naked.

When I had the chance

I should have taken

a lesson from that snake

that I once encountered

in our damp 

basement.

The lesson

in the art of molting.

 

Cosmology of Poets

How vast is the universe
of allpoetry.com,
thoughts wonder.

Its expansion rate,
larger or smaller
than Hubble’s constant?

How many stars
emerge on its sky
each day,
how many 

just fade away

barely noticed?

How many become north stars
to guide, and encourage
struggling newbies,

while others
just ephemeral  meteorites
in the night sky?

Like the size of galaxies,
what is the distribution
of the number of views,
a gamma
with a large kurtosis.
and median x?

Lying awake
at the hour of the wolf
mind wanders
in a cosmological wake.

 

Building a framework for living #9 : A strategy to make a day well lived

 Arun Kumar 

It is a privilege to have an abundance of discretionary time and a privilege to be in a position having to consider among varied choices that we have in front of us and decide what we could do with the disposable moments. 

If you are reading these words, you obviously have discretionary time and have made a choice to wander through the waterways of the internet searching for subject matters that interest you. 

For some of us, the notion that we have discretionary time has now been internalized to the extent that it is a privilege is not immediately obvious. 

But consider the following humbling facts. 

There are billions of people on Earth living in the same timeline as us who do not have the luxury of discretionary time. For them, keeping their head above water takes all the time and resources their bodies and minds can muster. 

I know that if you are living in certain parts of India, your day would be spent in storing water for your daily needs. To do that you might have to watch the clock because the tap water only comes for a couple of hours a day, or worse, you may have to visit the community water tap, wait in a line for your turn to fill two buckets of water and then haul them back home. 

You also may have to go to the bazaar every couple of days to buy vegetables because you may not be able to store weeks' supply in a refrigerator. And even if you do have a refrigerator, electricity is unreliable enough that you can ill afford to store consumables for a week only to find out that they got spoiled.  

And then, for the same reasons you may have to prepare meals twice a day because summer temperatures will invite bacteria to have a feast, and the leftover lunch may turn stale by dinnertime. 

I am sure that the same story repeats across a wide swath of people living in different corners of the globe. 

While we are pondering over the luxury of discretionary time, let us not forget places like Ukraine where populations are living in a war zones, or people living in refugee camps, or those who have to move to get away from the realities of political and financial hardships having dreams of living in better places to give their souls a bit of respite.  

Looking back at the past of humanity, it is also not hard to see that only over 100 years back, most of the population living on the face of the Earth did not have the luxury of discretionary time. The work toll to keep the fire in the belly burning was all too consuming. 

But enough of giving examples to bolster the argument that having time at our disposal is indeed a privilege and a luxury to have, and not everyone is privileged to have that privilege.  

With that privilege comes the existential burden of making the right choices and using the time we have wisely.  

It would be such a waste to squander what is gifted to us. It is a moral imperative to use the disposable time we have for a good purpose. Of course, there is no law out there, or some police state watching to make sure we do that, but deliberately ignoring things that could benefit us is against the evolutionary imperative. 

It would be unfortunate to afford to buy the 1996 vintage of Taittinger Comtes de Champagne Blanc de Blancs and then just guzzle it down without appreciating its olfactory and gustatory pleasures? The same goes for what we do with our discretionary time.  

Would it not be unfortunate for us to spend the limited hours of disposable time we might have on watching TV or just skimming through bottomless feeds at some of the websites without having a clear purpose in mind? 

On the other hand, what could be a better use of discretionary time than putting it to use in such a way that it makes our life well lived. Or to reach that goal, use it in a way to make our days well lived. 

Making choices that allow us to reach the goal of a life well lived requires us to be intentional in making those choices.  

One could opt for the path of least resistance and watch TV all day. Given its intellectual ease, it could also become a habitual choice, but that is not going to get us to our goal.  

To get there, we must step back, evaluate the choices we have on how to spend our time, weigh them against how they stack up in bringing us closer to what we want our day to be, and then be intentional in making selections.  

It is all too attractive to go with the easier choice for lesser goals. Initially making international choices could be a bit tasking but like all habits, it gets easier with time and rewards are worth the effort. 

So, making a day well lived begins with cultivating the habit of making intentional choices. It all starts from judiciously exercising the privilege of discretionary time we are privileged with. 

Ciao. 

Summary: 

1. It is a privilege to have an abundance of discretionary time. 

2. With that privilege comes the existential burden of making the right choices and using the time wisely.  

3. In making choices that would make our life well lived requires us to be intentional.  

4. So, making a day well lived begins with cultivating the habit of making intentional choices. 

Related:

Building a framework for living #1: Becoming aware of mortality

Building a framework for living #2: The basic premise for its need

Building a framework for living #3: Follow the advice from stoics

Building a framework for living #4: The basic principles

Building a framework for living #5: Working with the fundamental unit that makes a life

Building a framework for living #6: The alchemy of fulfilling days

Building a framework for living #7: The yardstick for fulfilling days

Building a framework for living #8: What makes a day anyway?