Saturday, December 10, 2022

Building a framework for Living #1: Becoming aware of mortality

 Arun Kumar



True grit is living and facing our mortality and being aware of both at the same time. 

As it has happened many times before, one fine morning we are reminded of our mortality yet again, but this time there is a twist – it decides to stay. Unlike a meteor that flashes momentary through the night sky, on this eventful day, the awareness of mortality settles down on the cavass of our consciousness.  

From that day on, the awareness of mortality becomes a constant companion wanting attention.

With the awareness that someday this show will come to an end, doubts about us living with purpose also start to raise their head. Perhaps, the confluence of the two is the beginning of the existential crises some of us face.

Being able to live a purposeful life, while at the same time, also being aware of our mortality is the rarest gift of grace one can have.  For those, who have not been blessed with this gift may wonder how a purposeful, and an equanimous living, while being aware of mortality, is even possible?

For some of us, the overarching question of living with purpose, or just living, while facing our mortality becomes a central theme. What would allow for mortality and living to exist in harmony? What will make it possible to pursue and plan goals that might as well be beyond our personal event horizon?

How to plant a honeysuckle with the possibility that next spring we may not be around to see it bloom? The reason for doubt could just be as mundane as the possibility of moving to warmer climate and leaving our present home behind.

It is important to recognize that having such goals is essential for us to have a sense of meaning and purpose. They help us get out of bed in the morning. They provide something to look forward to. They are the propellants that steer the spaceship that is us drifting in the empty vastness of the universe.

For our own well-being and sanity, we need to have or to cultivate skill to find the answer to question – what would allow to bring living and mortality into a harmonious coexistence, and thereby, world bring back the sense of purpose? Perhaps the skill we need is to find the right framework for living that makes for a happy marriage between two opposites.

As we have evolved, the necessity of providing the glue between living and our awareness of mortality has led to countless inventions.

Out there, there are plethora of frameworks for living – lose our capacity for consciousness and thinking in mind numbing activities; join a religion and believe in a life beyond, preferably in heaven, to mention a few.

But the catch is that we need is a framework that works for us. What if the popular frameworks that are out there do not feel authentic, or do not provide a sense of fulfillment?

They do not feel authentic because those frameworks are not congruent to our innate nature and who we are. Perhaps, when we visited temples long ago, we did not feel emotions of reverence that others seem to get touched with. Perhaps we have not been interested in watching TV or keeping up with trials and tribulations of the rich or famous.

If that is the case then we are forced to search for alternate frameworks, or possibly, construct a framework for living that brings a sense of harmony between who we are, what we do, how we live, and our awareness that one day the curtains will come down and this act will be over.

It is also important that the framework we construct should not shroud the awareness of mortality, and in fact, should make mortality an integral part of it. A framework that shrouds mortality, and encourages us to lose its awareness, is no different than the popular frameworks that already exist.

The point is that for some of us having an equanimous life equates to constructing or finding the appropriate framework for living that fits contours of our personal consciousness.

Living with this framework we hope to have a life of serenity and purpose and learn to live with the tension that is born out of an interplay between being aware that everything around us is impermanent and that we need to live and a  are able to accept the fact and be a functional individual.

To find the framework, would it not be good to have an algorithm that we can use and put together a basic foundation and build from there? After all, although worth the effort, not all of us want to spend years in a Zen Monastery like Leonard Cohen did, or listen to 400+ episodes of “The One You Feed” podcast, which by the way, is highly recommended, and would be an excellent use of our time.

Is there such an algorithm  that we can use?   

Ciao.


Related:

A fulfilling life and building a framework for living

Lesson from a honeysuckle


Summary:

  •  On one innocuous day, the awareness of mortality decides to stay.
  • With that, also come doubts about the prospect of living with purpose.
  • It is important to recognize that having purpose and goals is exceedingly important.
  • How can we bring mortality and living in harmony so we can regain the sense of purpose?
  • The solution is to find the framework for living that works for us.
  • Living with this this framework we can hope to find a life of serenity and purpose and learn to rein in the tension that is born out of an interplay between mortality and the need to live and be a functional individual.


Friday, December 9, 2022

A tribute to allpoetry poets

If you read some words when here,

either with an intent or as a passerby,

they may not have something 

novel to say 

beyond what William Blake

already conveyed 

but their freshness

may jog an old memory 

of a joy or a pain

of a loss or a gain,

and if they did, 

their penning

was not in vain.

Thursday, December 1, 2022

Death whispers…


...the grudge you hang to

will have no takers 

after our last supper 

tomorrow.


Why not let go, 

and be light,

even if just for a day

shine bright.


Tuesday, November 29, 2022

A fulfilling life and building a framework for living

 Arun Kumar


In my mind’s eye, I keep visiting the moonless nights in St. Croix when we looked at the sky and were dazzled and awed by the sheer number of stars sprinkled in the darkness above. Here in Maryland, living does not offer that privilege. Being here, and working, does bring in the paycheck and the roof above the head. In return, I pay the price of not sensing the vastness in which I live. 


Living in the boxes that cities could be, we miss the opportunity of nature making us feel humble. Not confronting the infinite, we miss the privilege to ask ourselves the question, who are we.


While standing on the porch of Leigh’s Leap, what those moonless nights in St.Croix offered was a sense of how expansive space and time are, and within that, how fleeting are the moments of our existence.


The growing realization of my mortality, and yet, not being at ease with the realization has created a dissonance within. A nagging feeling of unease that something is not right. It feels that from the 1000 piece puzzle we bought a couple of days back, a piece has gone missing.  Just to be mischievous, perhaps the dog who was at our house for a week swallowed that one piece.


The dissonance is a great recipe for introspection, and this one is no exception. 


Introspection, although discombobulating, however, offers hope of finding a way to live that could bring the two opposites - the realization of mortality, and what to do with the time I have left - in harmony. Introspection also offers hope for reconciliation between the sense of finiteness that exists within us and the vastness that is out there.


Through introspection there is a hope for inventing a personal algebra that sums the totality of our days, and engagements within them, into something that is non-zero.  Introspection, perhaps, will be the antidote for the dissonance within. It is a path for personal salvation.


These moments of introspection start to happen more frequently as we get older and have a clearer vision that life is not forever that it once seemed to be. Our end is no longer a distant object shimmering in the fog anymore. Our failing eyes make us visit the optometrist often, but they give us no trouble seeing the distant shimmer of our mortality. In that, our vision keeps getting better.


One outcome I could seek through introspection is to find a framework for living that will make me feel at peace with the knowledge that this body is just a form that I have taken in the present. The things that make it existed before and will exist afterwards. A framework that gives me the wherewithal to close my eyes and feel the continuum of space and time. A framework that brings occasional moments of  transcendental experience, the experience of being connected with everything else. 


My dreams from introspection for now, however, are more modest - finding a framework for living.


For now, I just seek a framework of living through one day. A framework that will make me look forward to getting up in the morning, and at the end of the day when turning off the lights, brushing teeth, and curling under the softness of freshly washed cotton sheets, allow myself that it was a day well spent. It was a day I will not mind living tomorrow. 


Finding that framework is a modest goal of the current introspective journey. 


Days add up into a week, a month, a year, and to the rest of the lifetime. If I can figure out the recipe for a day well lived, near the end when the candle of our life is near its last flicker, I can perhaps say it was a life well lived. 


Of course, finding that framework is not easy. It could be particularly difficult at some turns in life, e.g. at the start of retirement when for the first time in our life, we really have to shape a new identity with our own hands. Retirement could be a perfect storm - a loss of identity, nothing in hand, no anchors,  and on top of that,  an awareness of mortality.


Along the way I also need to remind myself to keep things simple. Keep eyes on the goal I am seeking and not get lost in mazes within a mazes that introspection and philosophy could be. 


At the end of the road, there is an algebra that sums the day to a positive number. The task is to figure that algebra out.


Ciao.



Related:

Self-Introspection

A fulfilling life and finding another god in retirement